Let's talk about it

Women speak up about their experiences with the morning after pill

The morning after pill is an option for all people who want to prevent unplanned pregnancy. It is not just for teenagers, or young people who ‘don’t know any better’ – it’s for anyone who wants to take charge when it comes to their contraception. Here are a few stories sent in to ellaOne®’s MyMorningAfter campaign by people at different stages of life, who chose to take emergency contraception…

I was in a long-term relationship at a festival

I was in a long-term relationship at a festival

I was in a long-term relationship at a festival when the condom fell off. Being only 18 at the time I was highly paranoid about getting pregnant.

As the festival/gathering was a week long, and I didn’t drive at the time I was concerned how I would get to buy medication to prevent pregnancy in time.

I was very lucky to have a friend who’s older sister was driving to the nearest town the next day. She kindly offered to give me a lift to the nearest pharmacy to buy a morning after pill. While my boyfriend was kind enough to give me the money for the pill, he didn’t want to come with me to get it.

Anonymous, 30, Portsmouth

I was in a long-term relationship at a festival when the condom fell off. Being only 18 at the time I was highly paranoid about getting pregnant.

As the festival/gathering was a week long, and I didn’t drive at the time I was concerned how I would get to buy medication to prevent pregnancy in time.

I was very lucky to have a friend who’s older sister was driving to the nearest town the next day. She kindly offered to give me a lift to the nearest pharmacy to buy a morning after pill. While my boyfriend was kind enough to give me the money for the pill, he didn’t want to come with me to get it.

I often find that people are surprised when I talk candidly about emergency contraception

I have taken the morning after pill twice and I often find that people are surprised when I talk candidly about it. To some, it’s an admission of guilt, that you messed up, that you were ‘irresponsible’.

To me, this makes no sense. Irresponsibility is the lack of response, of assertive action. No one feels irresponsible asking for cough medicine or plasters.

The first time I took it, my biggest concern was catching a flight in three hours. I bounded into the chemist. My boyfriend agreed that he would split the cost with me, as it had been a joint endeavour. The pharmacist took me into a room that was basically a cupboard, asked me some basic questions, and then suggested I take the morning after pill. I was given the pill and away I went. I remember reading the small book that came with it on the train station platform, revealing that the exact science was unclear but seemed to work significantly often when taken correctly. Whatever science it was, I was grateful.

The second time the main struggle was parking somewhere near the 24hr pharmacy, this time boyfriend in tow. This time I had fallen asleep without taking my pill. I remember being slightly more apprehensive, as the chemist was smaller and even a discreet request was clearly going to be heard by all. I pepped myself up with my ‘you-are-a-responsible-woman’ chat and asked anyway. On this occasion I was also asked about my drug usage, STIs and expanding on what had happened. I swallowed it and thanked the pharmacist.

Both of my experiences have been that of relief, of a bullet dodged, of a reset button pressed. Both incidents happened while in a long-term relationship which may have reduced judgement in those who I interacted with. I have spoken candidly of my experience to others, not only to reduce stigma about this form of contraception, but also to reduce fear and myths around it, so that more women see it as an option they can take if their normal contraception has failed for whatever reason, and not as a personal failing.

Georgina, 25

I have taken the morning after pill twice and I often find that people are surprised when I talk candidly about it. To some, it’s an admission of guilt, that you messed up, that you were ‘irresponsible’.

To me, this makes no sense. Irresponsibility is the lack of response, of assertive action. No one feels irresponsible asking for cough medicine or plasters.

The first time I took it, my biggest concern was catching a flight in three hours. I bounded into the chemist. My boyfriend agreed that he would split the cost with me, as it had been a joint endeavour. The pharmacist took me into a room that was basically a cupboard, asked me some basic questions, and then suggested I take the morning after pill. I was given the pill and away I went. I remember reading the small book that came with it on the train station platform, revealing that the exact science was unclear but seemed to work significantly often when taken correctly. Whatever science it was, I was grateful.

The second time the main struggle was parking somewhere near the 24hr pharmacy, this time boyfriend in tow. This time I had fallen asleep without taking my pill. I remember being slightly more apprehensive, as the chemist was smaller and even a discreet request was clearly going to be heard by all. I pepped myself up with my ‘you-are-a-responsible-woman’ chat and asked anyway. On this occasion I was also asked about my drug usage, STIs and expanding on what had happened. I swallowed it and thanked the pharmacist.

Both of my experiences have been that of relief, of a bullet dodged, of a reset button pressed. Both incidents happened while in a long-term relationship which may have reduced judgement in those who I interacted with. I have spoken candidly of my experience to others, not only to reduce stigma about this form of contraception, but also to reduce fear and myths around it, so that more women see it as an option they can take if their normal contraception has failed for whatever reason, and not as a personal failing.

I was marched down to the pharmacy by my mum

I was 16-years-old and it was the morning after I lost my virginity. I’d been with my boyfriend, who was 22, for about six months and it felt like the right time. The evening itself was wonderful, we went for dinner and then back to my family home.
Honestly, it was as good a first time experience as I could have wished for but I still wasn’t sure if the condom had worked. Maybe, I was just extra paranoid, but put it this way, I didn’t want to take the risk.

My boyfriend, who lived in London, had to leave early the next morning and I was due to head off with my family to Seattle on a family holiday.
When I mentioned to my mum that we’d had sex and I was worried about the condom splitting, she marched me down to the pharmacy. I felt like I had done something fundamentally wrong and felt very alone. To make it worse, Mum wouldn’t talk to me for the whole flight to the States.

I’m so glad it’s becoming easier to have these conversations. Women should never judge other women like that, it’s just not right. My mum should have realised that I was actually being very responsible by opening up. It’s stood me in good stead in relationships ever since.
Women should not be ashamed to buy the morning after pill, it’s time to end the taboo, time for change and time to empower the sisterhood.

Anonymous, UK, 33

I was 16-years-old and it was the morning after I lost my virginity. I’d been with my boyfriend, who was 22, for about six months and it felt like the right time. The evening itself was wonderful, we went for dinner and then back to my family home.
Honestly, it was as good a first time experience as I could have wished for but I still wasn’t sure if the condom had worked. Maybe, I was just extra paranoid, but put it this way, I didn’t want to take the risk.

My boyfriend, who lived in London, had to leave early the next morning and I was due to head off with my family to Seattle on a family holiday.
When I mentioned to my mum that we’d had sex and I was worried about the condom splitting, she marched me down to the pharmacy. I felt like I had done something fundamentally wrong and felt very alone. To make it worse, Mum wouldn’t talk to me for the whole flight to the States.

I’m so glad it’s becoming easier to have these conversations. Women should never judge other women like that, it’s just not right. My mum should have realised that I was actually being very responsible by opening up. It’s stood me in good stead in relationships ever since.
Women should not be ashamed to buy the morning after pill, it’s time to end the taboo, time for change and time to empower the sisterhood.

My partner and I had unprotected sex – but were not ready for another baby

– So I ordered the morning after pill online through a local pharmacy.

I was 23 and had just given birth to my second child. My partner and I had unprotected sex – but were not ready for another baby – so I ordered the morning after pill online through a local pharmacy.

I answered the questions online and paid online. I received an email saying it was fine for me to take the pill. The next morning I just said I had an order to pick up and no questions were asked.

I felt a bit embarrassed when I arrived, but I was reassured when the woman brought the bag out. She didn’t really say much, she just passed it to me and that was that. No judgement. I wasn’t worried about side effects, nor did I experience any. I didn’t get pregnant and I would take the morning after pill again if I needed to. I would recommend it to a friend if she was in a similar situation and wanted to avoid pregnancy.

I think women are judged about having emergency contraception, I think it’s why some women leave it too long and opt for other choices.

Anonymous, 26, York, UK

– So I ordered the morning after pill online through a local pharmacy.

I was 23 and had just given birth to my second child. My partner and I had unprotected sex – but were not ready for another baby – so I ordered the morning after pill online through a local pharmacy.

I answered the questions online and paid online. I received an email saying it was fine for me to take the pill. The next morning I just said I had an order to pick up and no questions were asked.

I felt a bit embarrassed when I arrived, but I was reassured when the woman brought the bag out. She didn’t really say much, she just passed it to me and that was that. No judgement. I wasn’t worried about side effects, nor did I experience any. I didn’t get pregnant and I would take the morning after pill again if I needed to. I would recommend it to a friend if she was in a similar situation and wanted to avoid pregnancy.

I think women are judged about having emergency contraception, I think it’s why some women leave it too long and opt for other choices.

Thankfully, my husband shares the responsibility of contraception with me

The first time I used the morning after pill was this year. I was 26, I’m happily married, and I’ve been off the pill for over a year now. The idea is to let my body settle naturally before trying to start a family. My husband and I attended a wedding, and both had too much to drink. You can put the rest together.

Thankfully, my husband shares the responsibility of contraception with me, he came with me to the pharmacy and paid for it. I found the pharmacy so awkward: the woman behind the counter knew my husband and began chatting to him, making it very embarrassing for me to then ask for what I need.

Question: why on earth isn’t there a way to ask for VERY personal things without having to quietly murmur it in front of several strangers? A code or a writing pad readily available would be much better.

Anyway, embarrassment over, the pharmacist took me into a side room where I was very open, honest and frank about the situation. I didn’t feel judged at all, but I can understand why women attending alone may worry about this. I was given the pill, although the price did leave a sting in my husband’s wallet following the bar tab the night before.

All that aside, it works out financially cheaper and much less painful than risking a pregnancy you’re not quite ready for. Lesson learned by my husband and I.

Anonymous, 27, Bedfordshire, UK

The first time I used the morning after pill was this year. I was 26, I’m happily married, and I’ve been off the pill for over a year now. The idea is to let my body settle naturally before trying to start a family. My husband and I attended a wedding, and both had too much to drink. You can put the rest together.

Thankfully, my husband shares the responsibility of contraception with me, he came with me to the pharmacy and paid for it. I found the pharmacy so awkward: the woman behind the counter knew my husband and began chatting to him, making it very embarrassing for me to then ask for what I need.

Question: why on earth isn’t there a way to ask for VERY personal things without having to quietly murmur it in front of several strangers? A code or a writing pad readily available would be much better.

Anyway, embarrassment over, the pharmacist took me into a side room where I was very open, honest and frank about the situation. I didn’t feel judged at all, but I can understand why women attending alone may worry about this. I was given the pill, although the price did leave a sting in my husband’s wallet following the bar tab the night before.

All that aside, it works out financially cheaper and much less painful than risking a pregnancy you’re not quite ready for. Lesson learned by my husband and I.